Monday, September 1, 2014

I should but I won't

If you follow my parenting blog, WaldenMommy, you may remember that my son and niece were both born prematurely. As a result, our families walk in the March for Babies, volunteer with various NICU organizations and my husband and I take Thanksgiving dinner to our NICU every year.

When people hear our story, and then learn that I like to write, I often get, "You should write a book about it!" I smile and nod and say, "Yes, I should," because I should. But I won't.

Not now.

You see, writing a book about my son's NICU journey and the impact it has had on our lives would require me to go back there. Not the NICU, physically, but there, that place, that place I was in when my son was born. It required me to revisit the feelings I had when I learned he would come early, when I saw him in the NICU, that Christmas season when we struggled to get him to eat and grow. It would require me revisiting the year after his birth, being pregnant with my fourth child and then the realization that our preemie has developmental delays.

And you know what? I don't want to go there.

The nice thing about being an author is that, to some degree, I can choose what to write about. I have written about the NICU but I don't want to, right now, dive into the experience and turn it into a full length book. Perhaps one day I will but, for now, people will have to be content with the articles I have on-line about prematurity, the NICU and beyond.

Maybe someday I will write that book. But not now.

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